How to Respond to A Pity Invite (10 Best Responses)

We’ve all been there; you’re out with friends, having a great time when you start to get the feeling that someone is pity-inviting you. You’re not sure what to make of it, or how to respond. It’s a situation that can be uncomfortable and awkward.

Pity invites are never fun to receive, but they can be particularly awkward to navigate. A pity invite is an invitation extended to someone out of a sense of obligation or guilt, rather than a genuine desire for the person’s company.

These invitations can feel dismissive and hurtful, leaving the recipient feeling unwanted and unimportant.

It’s a natural reaction when someone is feeling sorry for you, and it’s likely that they’re not intentionally trying to make you feel bad.

If you’ve received a pity invite, you may be wondering how to respond in a way that is both gracious and assertive. In this article, we’ll be uncovering ways in which you can respond to pity invites.

A pity invite is an invitation that’s issued only because of the guilt feeling and not due to the desire to have that specific person around.

This can feel like rejection, isolation and exclusion for the person who is sent invitations. Someone is pity inviting you. You aren’t quite sure how to take it or what your response should be.

The truth is that this situation may become tense and uneasy Pity Invite are terrible things to get and worse to accept.

A pity invite is a term I recently introduced as a play on “pity-fuck,” which means a sexual encounter that’s more of a chore than a passionate act.

It’s an instinctual response when someone is tragic, and it’s entirely possible that they aren’t even aiming to get you down.

In reality, a pity invitation exists as an excuse for the one inviting to make themselves feel less self-conscious about the fact that they don’t want you there.

Getting a “pity invite” can be sensitive because it can make someone uncomfortable or even embarrass reply can address the problem.

Meaning Of Pity Invite 

A pity invite is when someone is invited to an event or gathering out of a sense of obligation or guilt, rather than because the person genuinely wants the individual to be there.

This can leave the person on the receiving end of the invite feeling hurt, rejected, and unwanted.

At its core, a pity invite is a way for the person extending the invite to assuage their own guilt or discomfort about not wanting the person to attend.

 Here we discuss 15 Best Ways to Reply a Pity Invite.

Thanks for the invite. But no, thank you.

This was a friendly decline. It is polite enough to reject their offer. That’s particularly handy when turning down a shame invite (it makes it clear to the organizer that the invitee knows and appreciates how much work goes into throwing a party, even if they have no intention of turning up).

This response also suggests that the responder knows they attend an event, not because they were invited but because of their own will.

 apologize; I have prior engagements that day.

“Sorry, I already have plans for that day” — is an elegant and courteous answer to the pity invite. It conveys an appreciation of said invitation while politely declining with a prior commitment.

This line also removes any burden from their inviter, ensuring no hurt feelings and no attempts to convince you to come.

And be sure to thank them for the invite — and apologize if you can’t join — to underscore how much you cherished being invited.

Using this statement is a gracious way of turning down an invite while maintaining the relationship between yourself and your guest, a possible future asset.

 Thank you for the offer, although, …right now I don’t feel to the experience.

We must realize when not to accept an invite because we’re not up for it.

I Appreciate it, But “I know you didn’t mean it this way, but I don’t feel very sociable at the moment” is another way to be polite and turn down the offer with thank you.

It’s a genuine, caring reply and respectful acknowledgement of yourself and the person inviting you.

This phrase also understands that your emotional resources aren’t in line with what the circumstance requires and advises postponing or declining the invite until you get some rest.

You’re also much more likely to show up in a positive state of mind — to revel in the experience, engage fully, connect with others, and make a meaningful impression.

Being true to yourself regarding your feelings ensures your energies and time are invested productively in what’s best for you.

Thank you, but no thank you.

But this response is direct yet polite. It is simply honest.

Responding to a pity invitation with “Thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested” can be tricky! Saying “no” is difficult, especially when the gesture comes from pity or generosity.

But remember that refusing an invitation is still acceptable, and honesty can sometimes serve you better than obligating yourself to an invitation you don’t want.

By rejecting an offer (nicely), you send the message you appreciate the gesture of the offer made, but at the same time, you say, thank you, I know my worth!

Saying No with grace can create trust between both parties because, in essence, you’re showing that you honour the other person’s emotions. They’re worth enough to give them an honest answer.

However, responding to the pity invitation with “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to” would give you the best response and help create good relationships between both parties.

Thanks for considering me, but I have enough to do.

A pity invite can create an uneasy feeling of embarrassment.

So, in a similar scenario, responding with the response “Thank you for considering me, but I’m unavailable” will ease the tension and make for a courteous answer.

By saying thank you for the invitation, it shows that the offer has been acknowledged (so you didn’t ignore it) and that they aren’t accessible or available to participate.

And this phrase can also be used as a soft no for gracefully refusing things. In this way, it’s a polite rejection in a straight-to-the-point fashion without elaboration.

 No, thank you.

When responding to a pity invite, always honour the person offering it! No thanks work well here for being polite and gracious in declining the offer.

It’s an effective way to say “no” without actually saying “no”. The wording is appreciative of the offer but declines it temporarily.

This basic two-word answer tells everyone of your choice without further details.

 I appreciate it, but I would like to know if I can make it.

Responding to a pity invite can feel challenging in shaping the response. Thank the host for the invite, and if you don’t make it, say no.

One response is to say thanks, but I probably won’t come. This says ‘thank you for the invite, and it won’t be possible for me’.

Be truthful when filling this out; being uninvited is one of those “awakes” things.
Also, by stating this, you’re showing the host some respect, recognizing you were invited and saying, ‘Yes, I’m free, but only if you want me there.’

This gesture communicates respect for the invitee (i.e., you were invited, and someone took the time to ensure you received an invite) but also tells the host that their invite was acknowledged. You appreciated the effort made to extend the invitation.

Reply by saying: “Thanks, but I’m doubtful about attending”. Say no gently. However, you don’t want to create any resentment.

Sorry, I’m not available.

It implies that you don’t like the party and don’t want to go even if you were invited to make the other person feel less hurt.

Be polite in your response, and show empathy and respect. You’ll try to demonstrate you’ve got the offer and its spirit down, but respectfully say no.

Be tactful, but don’t forget to apologize sincerely for not going. To do this, add a line like I wish I could make it; I can’t to the statement.

 Thanks, but I am not interested.

Telling someone thanks for the invite when answering a pity invite with the phrase “Thanks for the invite, but I’m not up for it”?
Thank you for including me on their list and extending the invite. It shows respect for their time and consideration in thinking about you.

Also, please explain why you can’t join so that it doesn’t seem like you’re declining without an explanation.

You could say, well, I don’t feel too good right now, or I don’t feel like getting out and socializing tonight. By explaining your logic behind it briefly, you assist the other side in appreciating your choice rather than taking things personally.

 Thank you for thinking of me, though I won’t be there.

With a pity invite, reply with Thanks for thinking of me, I can’t go. — is an acceptable ‘no’_ This expression of appreciation and declination all in one.

It signifies courtesy to the hostess and a way to preemptively sidestep any discomfort of rejecting an invite. Use a response, and you can reject a pity invitation without anybody feeling uneasy.

How do you respond to pity?

1) Establish your boundaries early on! If you get nervous, it means you are nervous. 2) Bypass those that irritate you or which you think are irrelevant. (3) be surrounded by positive people who genuinely support you.

Should you accept pity invites?

But if they’re inviting you out of sympathy. Just don’t go. You have your pride, and people should understand it (I’ve also used pride less there). Pitying someone into socializing is condescending.

How do I decline a last minute invite?

Sample Responses to Late Invites.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t have sex with you”.
“Thanks for the invite, but I’m sorry to say I already have other arrangements tonight,” I respond.
“Thanks (not),” she said, grinning with relief, “But I’ve been anticipating being on my own tonight.”

When someone feels pity?

“What you’re seeing (or what you thought was a bad day you had) compared to another person in an even worse situation than you.” Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone because their situation is terrible/worse than yours.

Is pity feeling sorry?

Feeling sorry for a person (in a way that diminishes the other) is superficial sympathy or pity. Pity and sympathy often mix, but in the best sympathies, one feels actual concern about another’s well-being.

It may be because the person inviting feels obligated to invite a certain individual, such as a distant relative or an old friend they haven’t seen in a long time.

In other cases, the person may feel guilty about not wanting to spend time with the person and therefore extend an invitation out of a sense of obligation.

Regardless of the reason, receiving a pity invite can be a hurtful experience. It can make the person feel like they are not valued or appreciated, and can even lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.

This can be especially difficult for those who are already struggling with self-esteem issues.

In some cases, the person extending the pity invite may not even realize the impact their words can have. They may genuinely believe that they are doing the right thing by inviting the person, and may not realize the underlying message they are sending.

However, it is important for the person on the receiving end of the invite to recognize the true nature of the invitation and to consider their own feelings and boundaries.

 Best Responses to Pity Invite

Receiving a pity invite can be a delicate situation, as it can make you feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed. But, with the right reply, you can navigate the situation gracefully. Here are 10  explained statements to reply to a pity invite.

1. I appreciate your invite, but I’ll pass on this one

This is a polite and respectful way to decline an invitation. It’s a statement that conveys thoughtfulness and consideration while still declining the offer.

It’s especially useful when declining a pity invite, as it shows that the invitee is aware and respectful of the host’s efforts, even if they don’t plan on attending.

This type of response also conveys that the invitee is making an informed decision and is not simply blowing off the invitation. This can help to maintain the relationship between the host and invitee and make it easier to accept any future invitations.

Additionally, this statement can demonstrate to the host that the invitee is taking the invitation seriously and is not just accepting out of obligation or pity.

This can help to prevent any hurt feelings on either side and leave the relationship between the host and invitee in a good place.

2. I’m sorry, but I have prior commitments that day

I’m sorry, but I have prior commitments that day is a polite and respectful way to respond to a pity invite. It communicates that you understand and appreciate the invite, but that you are unable to attend due to other commitments.

This statement also takes the pressure off the person who invited you, as they do not need to worry about offending you or trying to persuade you to come.

It is also important to remember to thank the person for the invite and to express your regret that you can’t attend, as this shows that you value their invitation and appreciate their effort.

By using this statement, you are able to politely and respectfully decline an invitation while also preserving the relationship between you and the person who invited you, which can be beneficial in the future.

3. I appreciate the invitation, but I’m not in the right headspace for it right now

It is important to recognize when we are not in the best headspace to accept an invitation and respond accordingly.

Saying I appreciate the invitation, but I’m not in the right headspace for it right now is a great way to politely decline an invitation while still expressing your gratitude for the offer.

It is an honest and compassionate response that conveys respect and consideration for yourself and the person inviting you.

It also acknowledges that your emotional energy may not be up to par with the situation and that it’s better to postpone or pass on the invitation until you are feeling better.

When you are in a good headspace, you are more present and available to enjoy the event or activity, and your presence can be more meaningful and impactful.

By being honest with yourself and your feelings, you can make sure that your time and energy are being spent in the most beneficial way.

4. Thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested

This reply is direct, but it is still polite. It conveys your lack of interest in a straightforward manner.

Replying to a pity invite with the statement Thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested can be a difficult thing to do. It can be hard to reject someone’s offer, particularly if they are offering out of sympathy or generosity.

However, it is important to remember that it is okay to say no and that it is better, to be honest and upfront about one’s feelings than to feel obligated to accept an offer that one isn’t interested in.

By politely rejecting an offer, it sends a message that one appreciates the sentiment but that one is confident in their decision to decline.

Politely declining an offer can also create a sense of respect between the two people, as it shows that one respects the other’s feelings and values their opinion enough, to be honest.

Ultimately, replying to a pity invite with the statement Thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested is the best way to handle the situation and can help to create a positive relationship between the two parties.

5. Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not available

Receiving a pity invite can often leave one feeling awkward and uncomfortable. When confronted with such a situation, replying with the statement Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not available can help to diffuse the awkwardness and create a polite and respectful reply.

By expressing gratitude for the invite, it conveys that the gesture was appreciated and not ignored while making it clear that one is not available or interested in taking part.

This statement can also be used to politely decline an offer without giving an excuse for why one cannot accept. In this way, it is a simple and straightforward way to politely decline an invite without the need for further explanation.

6. No, thank you

When responding to a pity invite, it is important to be respectful of the person extending the offer. The phrase No, thank you is an effective choice for declining the invitation with politeness and grace.

It conveys a strong message that you are not interested in the invitation, while still being polite. The phrase implies that you are grateful for the offer, but are unable to accept it at this time.

By using this phrase, it also implies that you are confident in your decision and that you are not trying to make the other person feel bad.

This phrase is a great way to show respect to the other person while also asserting your own wishes and boundaries.

This simple, two-word reply conveys your decision without further explanation.

7. Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it

When replying to a pity invite, it can be difficult to know how to frame the response. It’s important to express gratitude for the invite but also to be honest about not being able to attend.

One way to do this is to reply with the statement Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. This conveys the message that you appreciate the invite while also communicating that you won’t be able to attend.

It’s important to be honest with your response, as it can be awkward if you make it to the event only to find out that you weren’t actually invited.

Additionally, replying with this statement shows respect for the host by acknowledging the invite and being honest about your availability.

It also sends the message that you value the host’s invitation and appreciate the effort that they made to include you.

By replying with Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. you can politely decline the invitation without giving off any negative vibes.

8. I’m sorry, I’m not available

Replying to a pity invite with the statement I’m sorry, I’m not available can be a difficult thing to do. It implies that you don’t want to be a part of the event, even if it was an invite out of politeness.

It is important to respond politely and with a sense of understanding and respect. One should attempt to show that they understand the invitation and the effort of the sender, while still politely refusing the invitation.

It is important to not be too curt and to express genuine regret that you are unable to attend. This can be done by adding a phrase such as I would love to be there, but I’m not able to attend to the statement.

9. Thanks for the invite, but I’m not feeling up to it

Thanking someone for the invite is essential when responding to a pity invite with the statement Thanks for the invite, but I’m not feeling up to it.

Showing gratitude for their thoughtfulness in thinking of you and extending an invitation will help them to understand that you appreciate their gesture.

It is also important to provide a brief explanation for your response so that they don’t feel like you are turning them down without any further explanation.

You could explain that you are feeling unwell or that you are not feeling up for socializing at the moment, or whatever the case may be. By providing a brief explanation, you are helping the other person to better understand your decision and not take it personally.

10. Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t make it

When receiving a pity invite to an event, replying Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t make it. is a polite way to decline. This phrase conveys gratitude for the invitation, while also clearly communicating that the invitee is unable to attend.

It conveys respect for the person who invited you and is a good way to avoid any hurt feelings or awkwardness associated with declining an invitation. It is also a succinct and polite way to convey that you are unable to attend and that you appreciate the thought.

Declining a pity invite can be a tricky situation, but with the right reply, you can navigate it gracefully. The key is to remain polite and to convey your decision without giving any indication that you would like to attend.

With the right reply, you can decline a pity invite without making anyone feel uncomfortable.

Conclusion

A pity invite is a situation that many of us have found ourselves in at one time or another. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, and even hurtful to be invited to an event out of pity rather than genuine interest or friendship.

It’s important to remember that you are under no obligation to attend an event just because you were invited. You have the right to decline an invitation, even if the person inviting you is a friend or acquaintance.

If you feel uncomfortable or uninterested in the event, it’s perfectly acceptable to say no.

In this article, we’ve covered how to respond to pity invites and I hope this article helps.